


Did That Count as Inspirational

by CharmsDealer



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: Actual Dad Dan Howell, Audience Participation, Dan snarking at his unborn child, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drabble, F/M, Interactive, Preganancy, Surprise Birthening, inspirational (not) speeches, late pregnancy, liveshow, procrastination runs in the family, realistic boring relationship, supportive!Dan, younow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-18 16:26:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9393581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmsDealer/pseuds/CharmsDealer
Summary: "This baby is procrastinating," You complain.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DEC 14 EDIT: RIP the Old Apartment, Decided this fic needed freshening up becuase I needed something to tinker with.
> 
> \---
> 
> So in this scenario, it makes sense that Dan's baby would be a procrastinator, having inherited Dan's genes and whatnot. 
> 
> To set the scene ... you are probably a few years into the future, around twenty-seven/twenty-eight. You live with Dan and Phil because non-traditional relationships. It's ambiguous so you can decide your preferred dynamics, but author's head!canon is that you and Dan have been long-term dating and you properly moved in around the start of the pregnancy, after you both decided you were going to keep the baby. Dan and Phil are basically platonic life partners, so the three of you have a close family unit going on. :) You're probably thinking of moving to a larger apartment soon, but all of you are putting it off because... procrastination.
> 
> Adding "interactive" tag for potential sequel, see bottom note.

“This baby is _procrastinating,”_ You complain from the sofa crease, grouching at Dan, who is across the room from you playing something on the Switch.

“What were you expecting,” Dan retorts dryly, “It’s obviously inherited the strength of our combined traits: procrastination and indecisiveness.”

You roll your eyes. It doesn't take much to rile you these days but a jab at your inability to make committed choices under pressure is a low blow. "You know, when I agreed to this, I wasn't exactly  _expecting_ to be expecting for this bloody long."

Dan lowers his Switch and raises an eyebrow, "Well it's too late for that now, I don't know what you _expect_ me to do about it."

"...Give it one of your inspirational speeches?” You plead, your voice just on the edge of hysterical, "What if this baby decides it's never going outside??"

Dan snorts. “You know, I don’t actually blame him/her to be honest. What is there to look forward to once you leave the dark, safe space that is the womb? To enter a world of harsh realities, years of exams and institutions before you’re allowed to get on with what you actually want to be doing... Yeah, that's totally relatable.”

And just, no.

There’s nothing within arm’s reach to throw at him, so you settle for glaring. Dan catches on to the fact that you’re not all that interested in listening to him philosophize, and maybe want to murder him a little. He sticks out his tongue and goes back to his game.

It's a quiet Saturday afternoon. Dan finished editing and posting a video yesterday, so he's gone into vegetable mode. Phil has gone out, picking up “supplies”. The fridge and the pantry are full, so you suspect he just wanted to step out of the apartment for a bit.

You let out a sigh that's more like a hiss. You've been irritable all morning and Dan's cool-cat attitude, normally charming, is just not doing it for you right now. You wish he would take this just a little more seriously.

It’s completely and utterly irritating that you’re on the edge but Dan’s gone “zen”. Phil is the only one who can placate you now that you’re constantly sensitive and fed up, but even Phil can only stand so much. While you’ve been feeling quite anxious, Dan is almost the complete opposite. And it’s been driving you up the wall.

Dan had his initial freak out when he first found out you were pregnant. You weren't sure you were ready to be a mother, he wasn’t sure he was ready to be a father...but.

He's almost been more excited about this kid than you are, obsessively putting together the nursery and consuming vast amounts of parenting knowledge that you think he must download straight into his brain because you have to re-read everything twice. There's so much to wonder about, so much to  _worry_ about.

Throughout the pregnancy, there have been intense highs and lows between the three of you as it dawned that this wasn’t a Sims 4 baby, or like looking forward to a friend's baby. The implications of that sunk in at odd moments when you really weren’t expecting it, how everything was changing, far too fast it seemed. But it’s been nine months- rather, forty _plus_ weeks for you to come to terms with being pregnant. You're pretty used to pregnancy.

It's mostly the birth bit, to be honest.

At first you were worried that the baby might come prematurely, before you were officially ‘ready’. Of course you could never really be _ready_ for motherhood- God it’s so weird thinking that you made a BABY, that you and DAN (currently world’s least supportive partner, right now) are making an actual person- but now you're just... waiting.

This baby is taking its sweet time, and seriously, this is worse than when your cycle decides to switch things up. It’s going to be a _bit_ more traumatic than accidentally ruining a pair of great underwear.

At any moment, you could expect to go into LABOR. You’ve had a bag packed for weeks with everything you’re going to need for the hospital, gone over The Plan with Dan at least five times.

You’re just waiting, uncertainly, on high alert for any sensation that could even be remotely contraction-like. You can't fully relax, and you just want it to be over with.

You don’t realise that Dan has come to sit beside you until you feel his arm settle around your shoulders. Your stomach is so big that it’s been awkward trying to cuddle or be close to Dan, and you miss being able to squish yourself into his side and curl up into a little ball. You just want to feel fully yourself again -as much as you love and cannot wait to meet your baby.

Even if it is a sadist.

Dan rests his other hand on top of your belly. His palm feels right there, warm and sure. You realise that you must have started to cry at some point. Dan carefully angles his body toward you and starts talking, addressing the bump.

“Alright, punk, listen up.

"Mummy and I are waiting for you, you little shit.  _Oh,_ oh that’s right, weren’t expecting that, were you? Thought I’d continue to be all supportive and respectful of your decision, didn’t you? Well, let me tell you, Daddy’s tired of sleeping with his finger on speed dial for the cab service and everyone on Youtube is breathing down my neck for updates, so you’d better get a move on.”

You let out a startled wheeze of laughter and feel the baby moving inside, responding to Dan’s voice. He feels the motion under his hand and grins at you with the softest, most proud look on a man's face you have ever seen. He's going to be an amazing Dad.

“Did that count as inspirational?” Dan asks, pecking you on the cheek.

 


	2. The Birthening - Younow Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan takes to Younow to answer some questions about Baby Howell.

It’s Tuesday night, Dan replied to a comment on Twitter that yes, a liveshow was going ahead on Younow. It’s seven past nine, and the chat is picking up speed as people arrive.

 

  * Laaaate! )’:
  * DAD WHERE ARE YOU???
  * When does Dan go live?
  * DAN, ARE YOU AN ACTUAL DAD YET
  * AHHHH
  * boy or girl
  * 9pm on Tuesdays, but he hasn’t done one for AGES
  * did you call the baby Dab?
  * PLACENTA



 

The Younow screen starts to buffer and the view count steadily ticks up. The video loads and Dan’s face finally appears. He’s in the gaming room, just finishing typing something on his phone.

 

“...And the Tweet is sent,” Dan looks at the laptop screen and dimples.

 

“Whaddup everybody, it’s your boy-man Danny, been about a month since I’ve done one of these…. How are we all feeling?

 

“Existential...sleepy...pizza... _betrayed_ ,” He looks up from the chat to stare directly into the camera, “I know, I know, I’ve been neglecting you all terribly...Baby, baby… is the baby okay… are you a father yet, and about twenty people just typing ‘DADDY’. Really. Well, I guess it’s technically true now,” he mutters. He scans the chat for a moment longer before clapping his hands together and sitting up in his chair.

 

“No, sorry, clarification needed, I’m not actually a dad yet. I haven’t been keeping ‘The Birthening” a secret from you, Baby Howel is still _slowly crisping._

 

“Y/N is doing well, she’s been feeling a bit off today, but other than that she’s her usual crabby- I mean, lovely, self…” Dan bats his eyelashes at the camera. “Why hasn’t the baby been born yet, didn’t you say the due date was in (month)...”

 

“Guys, guys. Let me put some rumors to rest. Basically, nothing is wrong with the baby, but Y/N is post-term, which is just a fancy way of saying that my kid is apparently a procrastinator. I know, _shocking._ But everything’s fine, the baby’s healthy, nobody’s worried.” He pauses.

 

“Well, Y/N is pretty sick of being pregnant, but I guess the charm of growing a tiny human that kicks the inside of your uterus and squishes up all of your organs to make room for its growing mass wears off pretty quickly...

 

“Thank God for Louise, she’s pretty much our go-to for pregnancy related stuff.

 

“Why yes, UserName, I have been putting my perineal massage skills to good use,” Dan says dryly, “Because we all needed to know that...”

 

“But yeah, after the due date passed there was a lot of googling. We weren’t going to make an announcement or anything, but we actually made an appointment with the hospital and they’re going to induce labor, because it’s been nearly two weeks?” Dan scrunches up his face and his voice climbs up in pitch.

 

“I’m… how am I feeling? Well, it’s pretty exciting, but it’s also pretty terrifying, I mean, there’s going to be a tiny human with my DNA depending on me for survival and life advice.

 

Seriously though, I’ve had literally MONTHS to prepare for this but it still doesn’t feel completely real yet, even now we have an actual date picked out and everything.”

 

 _‘Do I still crave death?_ ’ Oh, how I missed you guys.

 

“I guess, now that I have technically fulfilled my obligation to procreate, I have to be responsible and keep it alive for the next eighteen to twenty years, but then I can go back to craving death. Don’t worry, I’m still me.

 

“Dan, are you going to start doing family vlogs?”

 

He makes a face, “Uhm, I’m not really a vloggy type of person, I’m sure we’re going to take a lot of home videos, if only to use as blackmail further down the line…” He laughs again, “You’ll have to wait and see. We were thinking of filming a bit on the day, you know, for the mems...”

 

A muffled shout is heard in the background.

 

“Christ, what was that? Probably Y/N rage-quitting life; she and Phil are downstairs playing mario kart.” He twists in the chair a bit with a chuckle,  “Heh heh...She’s actually so terrible at that game. Phil usually- JESUS CHRIST!”

 

The door slams open and Dan reacts with a jump, turning to the doorway accusingly, but before he can unleash his ire, Phil is speaking rapidly.

 

“DAN. DAN you’re a father!”

 

“...I’m a _what_?” Dan blurts.

 

Phil, flustered, gestures wildly, “I mean, you’re going to be a parent,” he says, “Y/N thinks the weird indigestion pains she’s been having actually mean she’s been going into labour, I think she just had a proper contraction, we need to get to the hospital, like, NOW,”

 

Dan freezes in place and a series of emotions flash on his face, confusion first as Phil’s word’s register, then understanding at what Phil actually means, followed by a comical widening of his eyes as “OH SHIT” takes over as the dominant expression.

 

Dan jumps out of the chair like a scalded cat, “SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK-”

 

Phil hovers in the doorway vibrating with nervous energy.

 

Dan’s head and shoulders are cropped out of frame as he stumbles over the legs of the chair. “I’ll call the hospital, you go call a cab- wait, no, I’ll call the cab, we’ll call the hospital on the way-”

 

An angry growl, clearer now through the open door, “PHIIIL, GET DOWN HERE I CAN’T FIND MY BAG. DAN HOWELL YOUR SPAWN HAS DECIDED TO FUCK THE APPOINTMENT…”

 

There’s the sound of loud thudding as both men hurry down the stairs. The chat, usually at warp speed anyway,, has exploded in a flurry of “omg”’s and exclamation points and text-yells of “what’s happening??”

 

The few noises that can be heard, the sounds of doors slamming and snippets of arguments and last minute packing.

 

The stream remains forgotten, filming the empty gaming room, but a few dedicated lurkers keep a tab open out of curiosity, making bets on how long it will take for Dan to remember the broadcast is still running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might swoop back to edit this, I touched up the first chapter because I can't leave my writing alone. =.=

**Author's Note:**

> A silly drabble inspired by the sentence that popped into my head as I was walking home today. I recently caught up with the Howlter family shenanigans and was thinking about babies.


End file.
